Nevermore

By Geghard Arakelian

Not too long ago I was asked a simple but what I’ve concluded today to be a very profound question. Though I can’t remember the question verbatim I do remember the deep implications of the answer I gave.

So what was this mystery question and how did I answer it? Was it about the intrinsic mystique of the cosmos, the meaning of life, the world’s record for eating powdered donuts in under a minute? No, it was about video games. More specifically it was whether I still attended LAN parties on a regular basis.

I was asked the above when visiting a very close friend of mine *cough* (Tragic Manner). His dad, inquisitive about our adolescent stories and disillusioned ruminations of our classroom clown-hood in Shermer’s freshmen Health-Ed class was able to open a vault of memories which opened up a lengthy discussion that, under usual circumstances, could only begin by a Boy Scout campfire, six-pack of root beer or albeit an entire nights worth of bantering and booze

After a technical explanation of why I’m making an eight year tradition into a ten year tradition, Manner and I began to debate the practicality of a modern day LAN. As two of the four founding fathers of Dep-LAN, or as its been viewed by my mother…err both our mothers…as the nerd crusade of Crescenta Valley High, we commenced the debate with a few minor smirks and chuckles to lighten the mood.

Perhaps the two greatest rhetorical questions to ever occupy the minds of people who have nothing better to do but to ponder the logic of rhetorical questions are: “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” and “If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, will it make a sound?” To you, the reader, I will ask a similar question, in short time, and consider not a single answer but instead if the LAN is or has become a social ritual of the past.

There was a time, in a not too distant past, when CRT monitors (think bulky plastic boxes with curved screens) were the norm and laptops’ were still a luxury that few could afford and portable computers with the graphical capabilities to run the most demanding games were just about non-existent. I speak of the first three years that followed the turn of the second millennia. Yes, this seemed only a short time ago but in computer years this might as well have been the Italian Renaissance. And why not? Battlefield 1942 was considered the par excellence gaming experience and the prospect of the Doom 3 engine was at the time what Crytek engine has become to us now.

Has the advent of newer, greater, faster and cheaper technology delivered a gaping wound to the LAN? Though in-game voice chat has become an industry standard just a few years ago, Roger Wilco was one of few alternatives to typing in futile commands to squad mates who were too busy playing bumper cars with in-game vehicles. Connectivity issues ran rampant across the internet, computer crashes from running Windows 98 or buggy XP operating systems occurred all too often.

I have since graduated from college and attend my annual Simi Valley LAN’s once or twice a year. But even now I contemplate whether driving out half an hour with my tower and LCD in hand is pragmatic.

Perhaps we can consider the move by Modern Warfare 2 developers to drop LAN or Blizzards stalwart announcement of how its dropping LAN and (most recently) the decision by Command & Conquer 4 to eliminate this multiplayer feature as the telltale signs of things to come.

Or maybe, just maybe, these are all low blows by developers to thwart piracy measures. To denigrate or not to denigrate, that is the question. But not the question I intend to pose for you, the reader. While I may ponder the validity of LAN, in regards to its relativity, when paired with next-gen technology, the industry seems to be hastening the death of this feature for its very own reasons.

And why not? It doesn’t take a statistician to calculate the magnitude of losses to the gaming industry due to piracy. Not too long ago developer Rock Star Games committed one of the industry’s biggest blunders: spending around $200,000 to implement anti-piracy software to save GTA IV from the forays that groups such as Razor1911 have been known to start.

So what’s cheaper than dropping a couple of, or should I say, hundreds of thousands of dollars to prevent the digital raids of said media? It’s easy: create your own online distribution store which requires users to login into servers before running a game. Offer digitally distributed games cheaper than can be found in retail and threaten to ban accounts, cancelling all purchased games when one becomes a suspected pirate. Oust LAN as an unnecessary feature or frame it as an inferior and outdated method of playing games with friends by offering technology that keeps you connected, chatting with friends and your attached microphones popping. That way you destroy the incentive for throwing a LAN and label such social gatherings as things of the past. An implemented policing system is a plus to if you want to keep your minions in line.

Steam’s almost Orwellian modus operandi is so subtle and effective that even Blizzard has followed suit. Just recall the last Blizz Con, Blizz Con 09’, In which it was announced by Blizzard developers that Battle.net is no longer an avenue to multiplayer but a palette where programmers can create and entrepreneurs can distribute.

One of three pillars by which Blizzard’s design philosophy for Battle.net flows is the “always connected experience” said Project Director Greg Cannessa on Blizzards website. Blizzard will also be offering achievements and in-game chat features.

I started (my LAN parties) when I was 16/17 I have one more year to go to make the ten year mark. I have only this to leave to you, the reader. Think not of a single answer but what the question brings to mind: ‘Why travel great distances with a computer when staying home can yield the same results?’ For me it’s the pizza, A&W, the host telling the guests in lucid frustration to keep the noise level down after a victory -whose pleas are quickly accompanied by the melodious barking of a house dog and trash talking which will most likely lead me to another LAN.

I guess until I reach my ten year mark the only thing left for me to do is pray that multiplayer platforms don’t start selling A&W cheaper than the local grocery store. That would be a bummer.